Saturday, December 18, 2010

Kamar yang Terkunci (Chapter One)

Hujan gerimis nan gelap terus turun di dataran tinggi Perancis sejak sore tadi. Barisan batu alam yang menjadi jalan setapak pedesaan Pornic di sebelah barat Nantes sudah menjadi cermin air yang memantulkan cahaya remang-remang lampu jalanan. Dinginnya udara di akhir November menambah suramnya suasana senja desa itu. Tak ada sorakan anak-anak bermain bola di hamparan rumput milik Monsieur Jaime atau dentingan sendok beradu dengan cangkir dari kumpulan ibu-ibu yang minum teh di teras Madam Elise.

Marie berjalan dengan tergesa-gesa sambil memegangi topinya yang nyaris terbang. "Angin sialan." batinnya dalam hati. Untung baginya, dia sudah sampai di ambang pintu rumahnya. Kehangatan perapian ditemani sup dan secangkir coklat panas sudah membayang di benaknya. "Ah, mandi air hangat akan sangat menyenangkan".

Pintu tua yang terbuat dari kayu hazel menyambut Marie di depan rumahnya. Rumah itu sudah berusia 150 tahun namun masih sangat indah. Bangunannya bergaya khas klasik lengkap dengan sebuah cerobong asap besar di bagian belakangnya. Bagian depan rumah adalah sepetak taman kecil yang dibelah oleh sebuah jalan setapak berbatu yang berujung di tiga buah undakan kayu menuju ke teras kecil tempat sepasang kursi malas berada.

Masuk ke dalam rumah, hal pertama yang selalu menjadi perhatian adalah sebuah lampu gantung dari abad ke 15. Rumor mengatakan bahwa lampu itu merupakan salah satu jarahan saat masyarakat menyerbu Versailles di masa Louis XIV. Keindahan lampu hias lima tingkat dengan untaian kristal imitasi yang memantulkan cahaya dari 40 buah lampu ini sungguh elegan dan menakjubkan.

Namun tidak di malam itu.

Marie yang masuk ke rumah basah kuyup terkejut ketika mendapati rumahnya gelap gulita. Tak setitik pun cahaya menerangi. "Anne! Mrs. Rivenna!" Marie memanggil dua penghuni rumah lainnya, namun hanya dijawab oleh gema dan keheningan.

Marie berjalan masuk lebih dalam sambil menyalakan lampu-lampu. Sedikit cahaya sangat membantu mengusir rasa takut walaupun tidak seberapa. Instingnya mengatakan dia harus pergi ke ruang makan, dan dia menurutinya. Namun hasilnya nihil. Marie terus memanggil Anne dan Mrs. Rivenna. "Anne! Berhenti bergurau! Apa yang kau lakukan?! Keluarlah!" namun semua usahanya tidak merubah apapun.

Kecemasan makin meliputi hati Marie. Dari ruang makan dia berjalan menyusuri koridor berhiaskan rak yang berisi bermacam-macam hiasan kaca dan foto keluarga menuju ke kamar Anne di ujung koridor.

Terkunci.

"Anne!" tak ada jawaban dari dalam. Ketika Marie akan berbalik ke kamarnya, dia melihat sesuatu yang aneh di pintu "Darah!" pikirnya. Saat itu juga dia berlari ke rumah Mr Heindrich untuk meminta tolong.

Datanglah Mr Heindrich dan anaknya Joleon. Marie memutuskan untuk mendobrak pintu kamar Anne karena dia melihat ada yang tidak beres dengan adanya noda darah di pintu.

Joleon mengambil jarak dari pintu, dan dengan segenap kekuatan menghempaskan tubuhnya yang tinggi besar ke pintu. Dan pintu pun terbuka.

"Oh Tuhan"



Bersambung :-D

short post :D

seems like i have to step back with a dead-slow pace before i move forward too far deh. Gotta change my principal though. Wakakakaka.. :D

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Nayna

Aku hanya bisa menangis dan berteriak sambil memanggil namanya di dalam hati kecilku. “Nay, Nay, Nay. Mengapa kau harus datang dalam hidupku?”

Lalu kuingat kembali, ternyata dia memang selalu ada dalam hidupku sejauh yang kuingat. Dulu saat kami masih TK, bisa dianggap kami adalah teman. Takdir kembali mempertemukan kami di SD. Bahkan aku punya beberapa foto kelas untuk membuktikannya. SMP pun tak jauh berbeda, kami kembali menjadi teman sekelas. Di SMA pun kami masih terus bersatu. Aneh memang, tapi Tuhan berkehendak demikian. Tapi, mata hatiku tak menyadarinya. Aku terlalu sibuk dengan kompetisi basketku dan mengikuti perkembangan gadget terbaru. Bisa dibilang, aku tenggelam dalam “kehidupan para cowok.” Tapi sekarang setelah aku dekat dengan seorang wanita yang sempat mengisi relung hatiku, tak ada hal lain yang ingin kulakukan selain terus menangis dan meratapi kejamnya cinta kepadaku. Tak biasanya aku bertingkah seperti ini. Tapi, hal ini terjadi setelah aku jatuh cinta selama satu semester ini. Dan rasa sakitnya sama sekali tak tertahankan. Aku takkan anggap hal ini indah: semua yang kutahu tentang dia, cinta dan wanita telah kupelajari selama 6 bulan ini. Karena rasa sakit yang ditinggalkan lebih dahsyat dari perasaan yang kurasa saat kami bersama. Saat berusia 18 tahun dan dimabuk indahnya cinta, enam bulan terasa seperti seumur hidup. Sebelum hari ini aku bahagia. Namun, karena omong kosong cinta enam bulan yang lalu kebahagiaan itu lenyap seperti lenyapnya buih di atas air.

Sebenarnya, hidupku penuh dengan warna. Les bahasa Inggris, main video game dan nongkrong dengan kawan-kawan menjadi hobiku setelah basket. Aku dan ayahku telah sepakat bahwa aku akan menjadi Tiger Woods-nya basket SMA. Dan ayahku sebagai pelatih pribadi terbaik buatku. Walaupun sebenarnya ayah sama sekali ngga punya modal apapun untuk jadi pelatih basket yang baik, namun ayahku punya semangat untuk terus teriak-teriak di pinggir lapangan mengkritik setiap langkah yang salah dari diriku. Perjalanan hidupku tak pernah jauh melenceng dari hal-hal tadi. Menurut teman-teman, aku mempunyai kehidupan yang indah. Aku pun setuju, seandainya gadis bernama Nayna itu tidak datang ke hatiku.

Kisah datangnya Nayna ke dalam hatiku dimulai suatu sore. Langit hitam kelam dan hujan turun seperti tangis anak Adam di pemakaman. Angin pun seperti sudah lelah untuk bekerja menghalau awan tadi. Akhirnya bumi harus pasrah dimandikan jutaan galon air dari langit saat itu.

“Yah, minggu depan si Deni ultah ni... Dia ngajak kita sekelas ke villa bapaknya di Puncak. Boleh ya?” kataku pada ayahku.

“Sekelas? Banyak amat? Mana cukup villa ayah Deni buat temen kamu sekelas?”
Ayahku selalu lupa kalau yang namanya kelas internasional di sekolahku hanya diisi oleh 20 anak super gokil yang hidup di zaman ini.

“Yah, Ayah kan tau, bapaknya Deni itu bos minyak dari Medan! Yang mereka bilang villa itu sebenernya sama mewahnya dan sama gedenya dibanding rumah tinggal mereka Yah. Ayah pernah kan di undang resepsi Kak Uci di rumah Deni. Lagian temen sekelasku kan Cuma 20 orang.”

“Terus, kamu mau berangkat hari apa, naik apa, sama siapa, dan kapan pulang?”
Sifat ayah yang sangat hobi menginterogasi orang dengan jutaan pertanyaan kumat lagi. Aku berkata dalam hati “Sabar Yud, demi liburan besok.”

“Urusan transportasi dan segalanya sudah diurus si Deni. Mobilnya aja ada tiga. Beres deh Yah. Oh iya, kita berangkat hari Jumat sore, pulang hari Minggu sore. Senin sudah bisa sekolah Yah.” Jawabku. Sekolahku hanya menggunakan 5 hari untuk kegiatan sekolah, sehingga hari Sabtu dan Minggu sekolahku libur.

“Ok. Pokoknya sekolah kamu tetap jadi prioritas dan ngga kamu lupakan. Gak ada alasan untuk absen hari Senin. Satu lagi, jangan terlalu capek di sana. Awas kalau kamu sakit!”

“Beres Yah! Thanks ya!”

Hari pun berlanjut menggiringku ke penghujung siang pada hari Jumat yang telah lama kunantikan. Ketika aku sampai di rumah Deni, sudah ada si Rivan dan Fadlan yang asyik ngusilin kucing Deni yang lucu. Kami dengan sabar menunggu datangnya teman-teman yang lain. Satu, dua, tiga, dan seterusnya teman temanku mulai bermunculan. Tiba-tiba kulihat di ambang pintu seorang gadis dengan rambutnya yang hitam terurai yang sudah tidak asing bagiku, Nayna berjalan ke arah kami yang sedang nyanyi-nyanyi parau tanpa melodi yang jelas.

“Sorry ya, aku baru datang. Pak Heri telat jemput aku.”

Aku merasa senang melihat wajah imut familier itu diantara puluhan wajah yang mayoritas mencerminkan kenarsisan dan kenorakan.

Perjalanan ke puncak pada hari itu benar-benar luar biasa macet. Namun semuanya tidak terasa karena selama di mobil kami terus mendengarkan ocehan Deni yang tak henti-hentinya mengocok perut kami. Si Feni aja sampai hampir muntah karena tersedak saat Deni menceritakan tentang temannya di Bali yang belajar surfing dengan orang gila. Tak terasa, 4 jam perjalana sudah kami lalui. Sesampainya di sana kami langsung makan malam dan menghabiskan waktu malam dengan main poker atau tebak-tebakan, kemudian setelah semuanya lelah, 20 anak itu pun jatuh ke dalam buaian mimpi di malam yang dingin menggigit di Puncak.

Hari pun berganti. Sabtu itu kami habiskan dengan jalan-jalan di sekitar kawasan Puncak. Kemudian hari kembali berputar membawa kami ke penghujung hari pada setiap minggunya, hari Minggu; hari terakhir kami di Puncak. Deni mengumpulkan kami semua di halaman rumahnya yang sebesar lapangan tenis di pagi buta. Hampir semua anak turun mengenakan piyama masing-masing lengkap dengan rasa ngantuk yang ada. Minni melengkapi kostumnya dengan membawa serta bantal yang dia pakai tidur malam itu.

“Teman-teman, hari ini kita main-main!! Udara segar di pagi hari seperti ini jangan hanya kita lewatkan dengan bermalas-malasan! We play the game!!” seru Deni dengan sangat bersemangat. Namun tampaknya semangat Deni tidak disambut dengan baik oleh anak-anak yang lain. Bisa dilihat beberapa wajah-wajah ngantuk menutup mulut saat menguap ketika mendengar “kuliah subuh” Deni. Deni berkata lagi, “Silakan masing-masing kalian cari pasangan untuk game ini. Kita main game bakiak untuk menyegarkan badan terlebih dahulu!”. Kemudian segara saja tubuh-tubuh malas itu bergerak mencari pasngan untuk menuruti kemauan Deni. Petaka terjadi ketika aku tidak menemukan seorang pun datang menghampiri aku untuk meminta menjadi pasanganku. Dua puluh detik yang penuh siksaan. Lalu kulihat Nayna mengalami hal yang sama denganku. Dia pun melihat ke arahku kemudian tersenyum dengan manis dan bertanya, “Yudha, kamu mau kan main sama aku?” Wow. Baru kali ini aku berhadapan langsung dengan Nayna dalam keadaan seperti ini. Aku merasakan sesuatu yang lain dari biasanya; tak tahu apa. Di dalam hati aku berkata “Gile! Gua nggak pernah tau kalo cewek bisa secantik ini!” Di dalam dadaku berkecamuk berbagai pikiran positif maupun negatif. Tanpa bisa berucap apa-apa lagi, akhirnya kukatakan dua huruf yang menurutku menjadi awal siksaan batinku, “Ok.”

Aku sama sekali tak bisa mengkonsentrasikan diriku dengan keadaan sekitar. Briefing Deni sama sekali tak kuhiraukan. Kecantikan Nayna membuatku seakan terbius menjadi selemah semut kecil. Geraian rambutnya yang harum sesekali membuai wajahku ketika Nayna memutar badannya saat berbicara denganku dan Fadlan. Puncaknya terjadi ketika giliranku dan Nayna untuk bermain tiba. Nayna memilih posisi di depan, aku mendapat jatah di belakang. Pikiranku masih terus melayang tidak jelas. Seorang Nayna yang sekarang berdiri di depanku seakan menjadi cewek pertama yang aku temui di muka bumi. “Heran, ni anak kan udah lama gue kenal. Kenapa sekarang gue jadi ngerasa aneh gini sih?” sebuah pertanyaan dari dalam diriku yang tak terjawab saat itu.

Start dimulai. Beberapa detik kemudian aku jatuh terjerembab karena kehilangan keseimbangan bakiak. Anehnya, rasa sakit yang kurasakan langsung hilang karena tembok pertahanan di hatiku juga runtuh karena pesona Nayna. Kakiku terkilir. Timku kalah. Semuanya tidak terasa sakit atau mengecewakan karena terbius dengan keindahan makhluk yang sekarang berdiri di depanku.

“Kamu ngga apa-apa kan Yud?” kata Nayna yang dikerumuni semua anak.

“Ngga apa-apa kok. Cuma terkilir sedikit. Nanti juga sembuh.” kataku. Kakiku terkilir, dan aku harus dibantu untuk bangun kemudian berjalan balik ke villa.
Aktifitas hari itu berakhir. Waktu-waktu berikutnya di puncak kami habiskan untuk menghabiskan semua bekal yang ada dan beristirahat untuk mempersiapkan diri memulai minggu baru yang penuh kisah.

* * *

Di sekolah, aku terus memikirkan kejadian kemarin. Akhirnya aku putuskan untuk menceritakan semuanya pada sahabat terbaik yang pernah kupunya, Rendy. Dengan segenap pengalaman tentang cinta yang dimilikinya, Rendy pun akhirnya menyarankan aku untuk langsung “nembak” Nayna.

“Yudha.....Yudha, mendingan lo langsung aja tembak tu cewek. Pasti dia nggak nolak. Tampang lo kan lumayan, kepribadian bisa ditawar, duit tebel, terus dia mau nuntut apa lagi? Udah deh, percaya sama gue.”

“Ren, gue nggak tau cara nembak cewek. Ngadepin cewek dalam kondisi seperti itu aja perut gue mules!”

“Tenang Yud, Rendy siap membantu.”

Setelah kursus kilat selama seminggu tentang cara memperlakukan dan nembak cewek dari Rendy, akhirnya aku mengatur waktu yang tepat untuk nembak. Bisa dibilang usahaku cukup gila karena semua ini berlangsung terlalu cepat menurutku, dan lagi aku dan Nayna selama ini hanya menjadi teman yang tidak spesial. Hanya saja, selama seminggu ini aku melakukan pendekatan yang intensif supaya tidak terlihat terlalu norak. Walaupun agak janggal, “Tapi, apa salahnya dicoba!” begitu kata Rendy.

* * *

Hari “H” tiba. Menurut rencana yang sudah kubuat, Nayna akan “kutembak” sepulang sekolah.

Sepulang sekolah, pada hari kamis yang panas suara degup jantungku mungkin bisa mengalahkan suara marching band anak TK saking kerasnya. Perutku mual tidak karuan rasanya. Rendy yang terus berkicau tentang macam-macam hal tidak bisa menenangkan perasaanku. Lebih tepatnya Rendy memperparah kacaunya diriku karena dia malah bercerita tentang sakitnya ditolak oleh cewek pujaan hatinya. “Oh Gosh” batinku.

Aku tampil necis dan wangi untuk satu tujuan: Nayna. Dia keluar dari kelasnya bersama Ninda sahabatnya. Nayna tampak sangat manis dengan pita ungu yang menyibakkan sebagian rambutnya. Walaupun dia telah melalui hari yang berat dan panjang di sekolah, guratan keceriaan masih selalu terpancar dari wajah berlesung pipinya. “Nay, bisa ngomong sebentar?” kataku sambil mengedip kepada Ninda yang telah kuberitahu tentang rencanaku sebelumnya.

“Boleh.” jawabnya singkat.

Kemudian mulailah dengan sedikit berbasa-basi, aku keluarkan semua jurus-jurus ampuh yang sudah aku pelajari, aku sebutkan kata demi kata yang puitis persis seperti yang diajarkan Rendy pada Nayna yang tampak santai menanggapi diriku. Nyaris tanpa ekspresi! Dalam hati aku terus bertanya “Jangan-jangan aku dianggap gombal dengan kata-kataku ini? Nayna ngerti ngga ya maksud omonganku? Do I look good? Aku ditolak atau diterima?”

“So, aku tunggu jawabanmu.” aku tutup kata-kataku dengan kalimat itu.

Tak disangka, Nayna hanya tersenyum simpul sambil menjawab “Mungkin aneh juga sich, tapi.... okelah.”

AKU DITERIMA!! “Secepat itukah????? Tapi, peduli amat!” pikirku. Hatiku berbunga-bunga seindah bunga di Istana Bogor. Perasaan dalam hatiku tidak bisa diungkapkan. Nayna, temanku sejak TK akhirnya menjadi pelabuhan hati pertamaku. Kami berjalan beriringan meninggalkan sekolah. Kebahagiaan meliputiku serasa tidak ada ujungnya. Rasanya aku akan memberikan segalanya pada Rendy sebagai wujud terima kasihku atas sarannya.

* * *

Roda kehidupan terus berjalan seperti biasa. Hubunganku dengan Nayna sudah berjalan selama sekitar 5 bulan. Semuanya berjalan begitu indah. Nonton, tugas sekolah, jalan-jalan, hujan-hujanan, semuanya sudah kita lalui berdua dan semuanya terasa indah. Aku merasa dunia pun merasakan betapa bahagianya hatiku selama 5 bulan ini. Walaupun sesungguhnya ada sesuatu tak terduga yang sudah diambang pintu yang akan merusak segalanya, namun aku sama sekali tak menyadarinya sebelum segalanya terjadi.

Seperti biasa, siang itu aku mengantar Nayna pulang dari sekolah. Perjalanan sejauh hampir 4 km itu kami lalui nyaris dalam keheningan senyap. Tak banyak kata-kata yang bisa dibicarakan. Sesampai di rumah Nayna, aku memulai pembicaraan, “Minggu depan udah mid semester nih, Nay. Keliatannya seminggu ini kita ngga’ bisa hang out bareng dulu. Ntar selesai mid aku ajak kamu jalan-jalan lagi.”

“Iya deh.. Kita fokus buat mid semester dulu ya..”
Akhirnya kita janjian untuk selama seminggu tanpa chat dan smsan selain hal yang benar-benar penting. Walaupun aku sudah berpikir untuk curi-curi kesempatan sms untuk sekedar sok jadi motivator, tapi sebisa mungkin aku akan mencoba menepati janji yang kami buat. “Gentleman gituuu!!” kataku dalam hati.

* * *

Ternyata rindu karena cinta memang jauh lebih berat dari sekedar rindu biasa. Di hari Sabtu terakhir mid semester, akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk menelefon bidadariku.

“Halo.. Nay??”
Suara di seberang telefon serasa berat dan agak tertahan. Terdengar suara senggukan dan nafas yang agak tersengal-sengal.

“Nay? Haloo...”

“Yud, Chandra tadi ke rumahku.” jawab Nayna sambil masih terdengar menangis.

“Oh my God... Ngapain lagi tu anak?” tanyaku dalam hati. Chandra adalah mantan Nayna yang sudah dipacarinya sejak SMP. Mereka putus dengan sangat halus dan tanpa konflik, hanya karena mereka berpisah sekolah dan Nayna merasa bahwa sebaiknya Chandra lebih berkonsentrasi pada sekolahnya karena Chandra memang hanya merupakan murid berkemampuan rata-rata, namun harus diakui, berhati malaikat. Kuberanikan diriku untuk bertanya pada Nayna, “Trus, ada apa Nay?”

“Yud, sorry. Aku ngga’ bisa ngomong sekarang.”

Suara bip di handphone ku menutup malam itu dengan kegalauan yang dahsyat. Aku tak sabar menunggu sisa 10 jam rotasi bumi pada hari itu. Akhirnya kumatikan lampu dan kupejamkan mataku sambil terus memikirkan segala kemungkinan terburuk yang akan aku temui besok.

Pukul 8.15 pagi aku sudah menunggu di depan rumah Nayna dengan motorku yang baru kucuci bersih. Kemarin siang sepulang sekolah kami berencana untuk nonton pertandingan futsal kelas kami. Namun agaknya rencana indah itu akan lenyap karena kejadian semalam. Tak lama Nayna keluar dengan baju biru pucat ditemani dengan jaket jeans biru yang baru dibeli kemarin. Rambutnya dikucir ekor kuda dihias dengan dua buah jepit imut di kanan kirinya. Dia mengajakku masuk ke rumahnya dengan ekspresi yang tidak bisa ditebak. Aku masih bertanya-tanya, apa yang terjadi antara dia dengan Chandra malam tadi.

“Yud, langsung aja. Tadi malam Chandra ke sini.”suaranaya terdengar kuat dan dewasa. “Dia ngajak aku balikan. Dan aku terima.”

Diantara sepersekian nanodetik jeda antara dua kalimat terakhir, kepalaku rasanya dipukul oleh sesuatu sebesar gunung Bromo. Setelah kalimat kedua keluar, kurasakan pukulan itu membenamkan aku ke dalam suatu jurang tanpa akhir. Aku bingung mau berkata apa. Yang ada hanya semua memori indah aku dengan Nayna yang berseliweran di kepalaku. Tak kusangka, dia begitu cepat mengakhirinya.

“Oke Nay. Memang aku tau Chandra ngga akan bisa tergantikan. So, it’s okay!” aku mengeluarkan sebuah senyuman yang bahkan orang idiot pun tahu kalau aku memaksakan senyuman itu. Namun menurutku daripada aku berlama-lama diam seribu bahasa tanpa jawaban akan membuat Nayna merasa bersalah. Bagiku, lebih baik diriku tersiksa secara batin daripada harus merusak kebahagiaan seseorang yang tempatnya masih melekat dalam sanubariku.

“Sorry ya, Yud...”

“It’s okay, Nay. Selamat ya, kamu udah dapet orang terbaik buat kamu. Tapi buat aku, masih belum ada dan mungkin ngga akan ada orang yang lebih baik dari kamu.”

Kami berdua terdiam sejenak. Agaknya kami sama-sama salah tingkah. Akhirnya aku berkata “Jadi nonton kan Nay? Masih mau bonceng aku as a friend?”

“Yap. Ayo berangkat. Ntar si Fadlan marah lo kalo kamu telat.”

* * *

Selesai pertandingan aku langsung pulang tanpa menghiraukan selebrasi kemenangan tim kelasku. Hatiku masih berat untuk menerima kenyataan yang datang begitu cepat berubah. Sakitnya tak terhingga. Aku pulang kemudian menangis sejadi-jadinya seperti bayi di kamarku. Kusesali singkatnya keberadaan Nayna dalam hidupku.

Mengagumkan cepatnya waktu berjalan. Kemarin kukira dia milikku. Tapi kini aku sama sekali bukan siapa-siapa. Kuputuskan, bahwa hal ini harus segera diakhiri dan aku harus tetap hidup seperti sebelum ada seorang Nayna dalam hatiku. Kuyakinkan diriku bahwa esok pagi semua hal yang terjadi akan mengagumkan. Matahari akan terbit kembali dan siap untuk menerima manusia yang berusaha memulai langkah baru dalam hidupnya. Sekarang, bagiku hidup lebih dari sekedar seorang Nayna. Aku akan mulai lembar baru kehidupanku, namun tanpa seorang Nayna di sisiku.

NB: ni cerpen aku buat waktu masih kelas 1 sma :D

Friday, December 10, 2010

maaf, tapi aku emosi

Oke postingan ni isinya bakal sedikit meluap2 dan emosional. gara2 jumatan gak beres untuk kedua kalinya di satu masjid.

1. Khotib nya gak belajar rukun khotbah
yang namanya khotbah jumat tu mestinya jadi sarana berkumpulnya umat buat di ceramahi, diingatkan suru balik ke jalan yang bener, di kasi nasehat. setauku dari yang pernah ak pelajari gitu. makanya diadakan "pertemuan besar" setiap hari jumat tujuannya seperti itu. Saking pentingnya, sholat dhuhur yang 4 rokaat di syariatkan setiap hari jumat diganti dengan sholat jumat yang diawali 2 khotbah. Berarti khotbah nya kan penting banget.

Nah masalahnya sekarang adalah, kalo yang khotbah masi perlu belajar ngaji. insya Allah aku yakin deh kalo mas nya tadi ujian iqro jilid 6 sama ustadz ku SD dulu gak bakal lulus. suru ngulang lagi mesti. Dengan segala hormat dan penuh permintaan maaf mas, kalo mau khotbah belajar dulu ngaji yang bener. belajar baca bahasa arab ato pokoknya belajar dulu please. bukannya aku udah pinter, tapi kalo caranya khotib jumat yang jadi perantara risalah nabi gak bener,, ya pantes ae umat jaman sekarang kaya gini.

Aku idup di lingkungan yang sangat2 religius. alhamdulilah lingkungan ku penuh khotib2 berkualitas yang sangat2 tinggi. gak perlu profesor doktor sarjana islam atau Lc (gak tau apa artinya) atau model apapun yang penting mereka sangat mumpuni. logika jalan, syariat luar biasa manteb. karena terbiasa liat yang kaya gitu dan dapet "high class" khotib, jadi mohon maaf kalo aku sering apatis sama khotib2 yang ada.

back to Mr. Khotib. terus terang aku agak lupa sama rukun khotbah (kalo gak salah ada 6, dan salah satunya: mengucapkan rukun khotbah dengan bahasa arab. terus ada lagi: memberikan wasiat taqwa). nah yang jadi masalah di sini,, mas khotib yang baik hati tadi di khotbah kedua gak pake wasiat taqwa. padahal seingetku tu wajib di kedua khotbah dan termasuk rukun. masalah kan? nah terus,, di khotbah pertama dia gak ngasi ayat ato apapun tentang taqwa di muqoddimah nya DENGAN BAHASA ARAB. akhirnya buat aku khutbah dia gak sah karena gak lengkap rukunnya. nah akhirnya selesai jumat aku sholat dhuhur lagi dan niat insya Allah gak sekali2 sholat di situ deh :D

2. Mas Khotib belajarnya nya gak lengkap
nah timbul masalah lagi ni. mas khotib yang belajar ngaji tadi ngasi wasiat tentang ittiba' nabi,, tapi pake ditambahi masalah khilafiyah. haduuuuh,, ngapa juga bawa masalah gituan pas khutbah jumat? mending kalo udah kelebihan ilmu. dia bawa perkataan "Memuliakan nabi tapi tidak boleh mengkultuskan". mulai deh ni kaum2 gak punya mahabbah ngomong tentang rasulullah. mengkultuskan tu apa sih?? kata KBBI (kamus besar bahasa indonesia. ntar kalo d kasi kamus bahasa arab macem munawwir ato munjid malah mumet,, baca ae gak beres) mengkultuskan adalah: mendewa-dewakan; memuja-muja.

eh si mas ni pake bawa dalil lo! keren kan :D. dia bawa dalil tentang kisah nabi. waktu tu rasulullah dateng ke masjid,, pas tu sahabat lagi duduk2. mereka tau rasulullah dateng,, mereka pun berdiri (ni para sahabat tau akhlak. gak kaya orang2 sekarang cuma bisa koar2 kultus2 tapi gak akhlaq). terus rasulullah bilang kurg lebih: tidak usah kalian berdiri. aku hanyalah hamba Allah, maka perlakukan aku seperti hamba Allah lainnya. dengan dasar itu mas nya bilang: jangan panggil nabi muhammad dengan "Sayyid". ada beberapa poin:

1. sapa bilang kita mengkultuskan? yang ada kita memuliakan. woy mas khotib,, kalo sekali2 aku maen ke rumahmu trus ada bapak mu,, di depan bapakmu aku ngomong pake bahasa jawa kasar, trus manggil langsung pake nama, duduk kaya di warung, gitu kamu bakal terima gak?? apa kamu bakal bilang aku mengkultuskan bapakmu kalo aku ngomong pake bahasa kromo, trus manggil pake "bapak", duduk sopan, dll?? itu CUMA BAPAKMU!! bener rasulullah CUMA hamba Allah. tapi beliau HAMBA ALLAH PALING MULIA. pantes dong kalo aku mau muliakan beliau. gak boleh?? ke laut ae dah mas.

ni dengerin imam bushiri ngomong. FYI, imam bushiri ni sering banget mimpi ketemu rasulullah. kamu pernah lum mas?? guru mu yg jidat nya ada lebam2 tu pernah lum?? ni dengerin kata imam bushiriy:

دع ماادعته النصارى في نبيهم...وحكم بما شئت مدحا فيه واحتكم

فانسب إلى ذاته ما شئت من شرف...وانسب إلى قدره ما شئت من عظم

فإن فضل رسول الله ليس له...حد فيعرب عنه ناطق بفم

"Tinggalkanlah sebutan orang-orang diluar Islam pada nabi-nabi mereka. Tapi sanjunglah Nabi SAW sekehendak hatimu"
"Berikanlah sanjungan kemuliaan kepad dzat SAW sesuka hatimu. Berikanlah pengagungan kepada kedudukannya sesuka hatimu dalam mengagungkan"
"Karena sesungguhnya kemuliaan Rasul SAW tidak pernah akan mampu diucapkan secara lengkap oleh lidah yang berbicara"
kalo kamu atau guru2 kamu udah selevel imam bushiri, boleh lah di bantah. kalo belum gak usah repot2. mendingan belajar ngaji dulu sampe khatam iqro level 6

2. kisah berdirinya sahabat
kisah tu bener banget. termasuk kalam rasulullah. tapi hadits nya gak berhenti di situ. tau?? nha ni kalo orang2 picik gak punya akhlaq ngaji gak selesai,, akhirnya hadits dipotong2. mau tau lanjutannya?? check this out
setelah rasulallah berkata seperti diatas,, para sahabat kemudian duduk kembali kecuali sayyidina Hassan bin tsabit (sedikit review tentang sayyidina hassan: beliau adalah penyair nabi SAW. syair2 nya sangat disukai oleh rasulullah. kesimpulan: bersyair sesuai syariat itu boleh. pernah suatu ketika dalam sebuah peperangan,, sayyidina hassan diperintahkan oleh rasulullah untuk menggubah syair yang memancing amarah musuh. dan hasilnya apa sodara2?? ada musuh yang mati saking marahnya karena kata2 syair sayyidina hassan.) Sayyidina hassan tetap berdiri di temapatnya. kemudian rasulullah bertanya: kenapa engkau tidak duduk wahai hassan?? keluarlah syair yang sangat indah (syair ni bener2 sangat luar biasa kalo menurut aku)

واجمل منك لم ترى قط عين واكمل منك لم تلد النساء

خلقت مبرأمن كل عيب كأنك خلقت كما تشاء

mata ku tidak pernah memandang sesuatu yang lebih indah dari dirimu
dan tidak akan ada seorang ibu yang melahirkan seseorang yang sesempurna dirimu
engkau tercipta bebas dari segala aib (keburukan)
seakan-akan engkau tercipta sekehendak dirimu

terus apa rasulallah bilang kalo sayyidina hassan yang tetep berdiri,, memuji sampai kaya gitu,, bakal masuk neraka?? ternyata sama rasulullah sayyidina hassan di kasi surban nya dan dicium oleh rasulullah. liat tu orang yang memuliakan nabi. tu masuk surga, dapet surban nabi, pake dicium juga. nha kalo orang yang muliakan gitu di bilang sesat,, sekali lagi ya: ke laut sana mas. gak usah keluar deh.

3. perlu belajar
aku perlu belajar. semua perlu belajar biar umat ni beres. gak usah banyak cuap2 kultus2 kalo ngaji ae gak bener. khotib oq gak tau rukun. ke laut sana khotbah sama aer.

belajar lah fiqih. biar ibadah nya beres. biar semua yang dilakukan sah secara syariat. biar gak bikin orang laen ragu. ayo to,, daripada ngomong yang tinggi2 bahas aneh2 cuma biar keliatan keren kalo ceramah, mending kita baca kitab aqidatul awam nya syech ahmad marzuqi. baca bidayatul hidayah nya imam ghozali. baca safinatunnajah nya syech salim. baca kitab yang enak2. yang bikin adem. gak usah baca kitab yang isinya cuma "gak ada dalilnya". yo genah gak ada dalilnya kalo baca dalil ae gak bisa. genah gak ada dalilnya kalo baca hadits setengah2. genah gak ada dalilnya kalo hati picik rasa cinta dan hormat sama rasulullah. masi banyak hal yang penting daripada sekedar gak boleh mengkultuskan dan gak ada dalilnya. oke mas?? hahahaha.. sip deh :D

mohon maaf sebesar2 nya kalo posting yang ni isinya sedikit emosional. tapi sesuai judul: maaf, tapi aku emosi.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Happiest Moments of My Life (so far. hahahaha)

hellooooo :D. time for a rather cheer-up post here. hahaha.. usually i wrote about mind-tormenting stuffs coming from this cursed ever-thinking-melancholy brain, but for now i want to write about happiest moments throughout my colorful 19 years existence in this world. here comes the order

1. Mom's Word
One day i was sitting in front of my computer playing games or browsing or doing something i forgot while my mom was sweeping the house (don't say that i'm a bad son not to help my mom. i've done it before. trust me. hahahaha). We were chatting at that time, talking bout certain things (that i forgot too), until somehow she said the most wonderful quote i've ever heard, "Kau kalo mau liat saya, liato kadir. Kadir tu persis saya. Apa yang ada di saya, ada di kadir." translated: "If you wanna know me, look at kadir. he's just exactly similar to me. Any character i have, he has it." that's the first time she said it. but not the last. in a couple of occasions she repeated that words also. and she even added other people's opinion regarding to this similarity we have.

Why would i be so happy? Because my mom is one of the greatest person i ever met. If anyone i admire most, i can say that one is my mom. She's just close to perfection. i just wonder how great my grandpa was, because my mom is just the miniature of my grandpa. i found them as great people who knows who they are, what they should and should not do, and they have strong hearts. gosh, i'm out of superlatives to describe them. hahahahaha.. my mom, she's just unbelievably amazingly great.

2. That haul at Tegal
haul is the commemoration of a great person's death. it's just like tahlilan but with a bigger scale.
i attended a haul in tegal (i used to be there with my grandpa long long time ago. miss him so much. and lately i go with my mom. but not in this occasion). There was Habib Umar Jailani also. in the morning before the main ceremony, Habib Umar and some other Habaib was in the house where i slept as we hold a little prayer there. Before the prayer ends, i was asked to recitate something. I was so brave to pick the poem at that time, that i have never ever read it anywhere before. but it went great. Habib Umar enjoyed my recitation so so much much (i'm being lebay. hahahahaha). and that was very memorable. I've been a munsyid (wikipedia said: Orang yang menyanyikan nasyid biasanya disebut munsyid, sedangkan arti munsyid itu sendiri adalah orang yang melantunkan atau membacakan syair) for about 8 years and i've been doing it in front of thousands of people in so many occasions, but it's never been this memorable. it's still fresh in my mind how Habib Umar raised his hands, closed his eyes, moves his head left and right in joy while listening to my recitation. I can even remember Habib Bagir Atthas smiled at me at that time :D. that's wonderful :D.

3. My Sister's marriage
January 3rd, 2010 was the date. less than a month before, i got an accident. i broke my palm and hurt my knee. there was a pin in my left palm that made me look like wolverine. hahahahaha.. After that accident, my movement was very limited since i have to use a kind of holder in my right leg. only that makes me help all the wedding process. hahahaha.. So i was given a job that suits my condition: manage the invitation cards. give names, put it inside a plastic, classify it.

enough blubbering. what makes me happy are: guests, maulid in the akad nikah (one of the best akad nikah i ever attended. moreover, i sit next to ami syech and even make a duet throughout the maulid. hahahaha.. nice one), people's response, and how it went very fruitful. people said that my sister's wedding was spectacular. masjid Assegaf was so full that some people even sit in the 2nd floor (around 1000 people maybe). it's not that we're being excessive or royal,, no. but my AA family was huge itself (huge and i mean it. more than 200 of the attendant can be called "family"). moreover, my mom and dad are a very sociable, so they have a hell lot of friends and relatives. so it makes sense that the number of people was so huge.

4. Jawa Timur Tour :D
wakakakakaka... this one was hilarious :D. finally high school ends :D. me and 3 of my friends decided to take a trip to jawa timur for ziarah. We visited surabaya, gresik, bangil, pasuruan, malang and we visited some Habaib all along. a wonderful trip. full of laugh and stupid yet crazy things, but it's a purposeful one.

5. ISDC break
i'm a debater. i started my debating career at senior high school from the first grade. ISDC is the dream of every indonesian senior high school debater and by the blessing of Allah, i made it. I was the best in my provincial selection beating my arch rival and my compatriot. In the national level, i made it through the top 24 best ranked 12. In the top 9 selection i was a bit unfortunate finishing at the 11th position. but all in all it was wonderful. throughout my debating career, i won 7 debating competition with some best speaker predicates along. high school is just wonderful :D

6. Smansa
it was a great achievement for me to be able to enter smansa since at the beginning, some people (a close one) doubt my ability. i come there easily, stamped my mark there, and graduated excellently.

that's all for now :D. for the upcoming list will be: my graduation, my first job, "that thing", the day when i propose a girl to marry me (wakakakakakaka), and my marriage :D. further on will be my first child, promotions, and the list goes on and on. may Allah always give me a wonderful life and guide me to thank Him whatever happen in my life. Amin.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

WOY PEOPLE!!!!! BE GRATEFUL!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!

Let's make it straight: lately i make a lot of contact with some people who complain a lot. This, that, those, it, EVERYTHING is a thing to complain. Maybe if these people fart and the sound is rather different then they will complain "Oh no, my fart sounds different." Well, i'm not saying that i've been grateful enough, no. But at least i know that i should never ever whine that much. When you whine about having a lonely night AT HOME, think about those in their boarding houses. What's the different? You stay with your family; literally. When you whine about a bad cellphone, think about those who doesn't even have electricity. You think i'm exaggerating? Nope. I'm telling you, life is STILL beautiful with those struggles. When you whine about no one is available to talk, to share, and to laugh with, think about those who have too much trouble that they themselves find it hard to prioritize which to share first. When you whine about your terrible campus life (this one applies for me also. I have to admit that i whine much MUCH about this) be grateful because you only think about your campus. You don't have to think about feeding mouths, paying electricity, solving other people's problem in REAL LIFE. When you whine about the food is not something that you like, think about those who can't even eat something proper to be called a food. Oh my,, please people, find something to thank to God.

Just now i'm back from futsal. In front of the field, lies a 5 year-old child and his grandma (aged around 65 at least). It's 1 a.m. and this 65 year-old grandma is awake. For what? For a parking money. FOR A PARKING MONEY!!!!! THAT'S SOMEONE'S GRANDMA!!! Oh, it's cold by the way. And she has no blanket outside. Just an old skirt and jacket to cover that weakening body. Maybe she knows that staying up at night in such condition can make her suffer from pneumonia or other lung diseases, but she has no choice. Every coin matters. Have you ever be grateful that your grandma in their dawn can sleep well in a soft, warm bed rather than staying awake for 500 rupiahs each bike? HAVE YOU EVER THANK GOD THAT YOU YOURSELF CAN FEEL THE WARMTH OF A BLANKET AND THE COMFORT OF A BED EVERY NIGHT????!!!! Stop whining for God's sake. Look around people. World is a book, and you be the reader. If you are a pathetic reader, then you'll never find the wonders. If you understand what The Creator hides inside, you'll be grateful for what you have now.

The following lines are copied from Mbak Puspa's blog nucleardebris.wordpress.com. Something to open all our eyes.

* If you live in a place with good weather, without hardcore rain or disasters, be thankful
* If you have enough food to eat, and shelter to comfort you, be thankful
* If you still have parents who protect you, friends who care about you, be thankful. Value them.
* If you are now comfortably accessing internet from your houses, be thankful
* If you still breathe until today and healthy, be thankful

Because

* Some of you might sleep on the streets because disaster hit the place they live in
* Some of you don’t even think of how to clean themselves or will they be fine living on the streets, as long as they still live
* Some of you might cry their hearts out because they lose their parents right now
* Some of you might not know what internet is, because they are too busy to continue living their lives and to survive
* Some you might in dire needs of medications, but they have to wait for other people’s aid

This writing doesn't mean i'm grateful once again i have to say. Me myself writes this based on my own evaluation about my personal condition. And here i want to ask all of you, be grateful, be thankful, look around you and look back on yourself. You'll ALWAYS find things are far worse for some people than it is to you.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Education Celebration

Education, education;

There's nothing quite like education!
It gives you hope and lets you cope
And offers great remuneration.

Education, education;
The path to many a great vacation;
A fancy car and caviar;
A life of fun and relaxation.

Education, education;
Provides a firm and strong foundation
For better lives improved by drive,
By effort and by motivation.

Education, education;
Sing aloud in exultation!
And when you pass that final class
We'll shake your hand in admiration.

Education, education;
Requires a lot of perspiration.
You can bet - a lot of sweat,
And just a pinch of inspiration.

Education, education;
Let's all sing in jubilation!
For, those who strive and have the drive

May someday own a 'corporation'!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Giving Birth

My mom asked me to accompany her watching her on TV just a couple of minutes ago. She was the presenter of a show in my mosque's local television called MJA TV. The name of the show is Keluarga dan Kesehatan (Family and Health). The topic of the day is "Childbirth". Well, the speaker gave an interesting information indeed, but mostly I've read or found it somewhere else. Then come her example when talking about bleeding. The doctor told a story:

"One day I got a call, asking me to come to the place given ASAP because there was a mother giving birth and in need of my help. The nurse can't handle the bleeding herself, therefore she called for a doctor and she called me at that time. The location was indeed far and quiet remote and it's not good enough as a childbirth place. I checked the condition, then i found that the head of the baby was out but there was something blocking it. At first, I thought it was a tumor. Later I realized that it was the placenta. Earlier, the nurse tried to force the baby out, but the result was tragic. The uterus also went out. Yes, THE UTERUS WENT OUT (my stomach was terrible when i heard n i wrote this). We were blood-bathed at that time. The bleeding was so bad. An immediate surgery was taken, the baby saved, but 19 hours later the mom died because of such a severe bleeding. The body just can't cope with that."

I was shell shocked and petrified. Enough saying about how we should obey our mom, but this story is just another cherry on the cake. Oh God..

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Galileo Galilei

First thing first, don't expect to find the biography of Galileo here because I'm not going to write fully about it. I'm sure you can find a better and more valid biography somewhere else.

What I'm going to write here is just how brilliant he is. As far as i know, he invented a hell lot of thing in the 16th century. Telescope is one thing. It was him who were also stood firmly against the geocentric theory and prove it (poor Capernicus. He was murdered by the order of the Roman Church at that time because he was the first person to say it). Galileo was the first person to utilize the telescope to observe the galaxy and discovered a number of Jupiter's satellite, to find out that the moon is not perfectly flat, and many more. Galileo also produced a number of theory which underlies the modern science. His theory was the breakthrough to almost every astronomical discovery in this modern era. Or maybe we can say that Galileo "invented" almost every scientific discovery in the modern era with his theories and discoveries. The very Albert Einstein even called Galileo as "The father of modern science".

Enough for the introduction. We all know that he was so great, he discovered this and that, and so on. But it's not because of those discoveries I mentioned above that I make this post, but it's because one simple tool he made: The Galilean Thermometer. It's a very simple thermometer, which work based on the buoyancy principle and density. Very very simple. The thermometer is formed by a single tube and some bulbs marked by temperature scale. The tube and the bulb is filled with a particular fluid; and the fluid inside the bulb is given some different color which i believe is a piece of art-work. Galileo briliantly make use the characteristic of fluid which it's density changes with the temperature. Here's how it works: arrange the bulb from the least dense to the most dense from top to bottom inside the tube, then fill the tube with the fluid. When the tube is heated, the fluid's temperature inside raise and so is the bulb's. And as the fluid inside the bulb become less dense with the raise of the temperature, the bulb will float. Just imagine a lava lamp and you will get the picture of it. We can measure the temperature by looking at the scale under each bulb. It was simply brilliant. A very perfect combination of bright mind with a little touch of art. Indeed it's a thermometer, but it's a cute yet beautiful decoration. I was thinking if maybe we can find a glow-in-the-dark fluid to fill the thermometer with some decorative color. Once again, amazingly brilliant. Galileo Sir, you got my full admiration.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Mom's Quote of the Day

My mom almost never missed a thing. And so is the case for now. Just minutes ago she said, "Dir, kehidupan kau kok gak karuan ya?" (Dir, i see your life is messed up, isn't it?). Without hesitation i replied "Yes". Just this morning before i took a bath, that exact thing came up to my mind: my current life is messed up. My time is messed up. My schedule is messed up. Me myself personally is messed up. And i'm sick of it. To make it worse, i don't know what's wrong and how to fix. Ah, that's the only way :-). Dunno when :D.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Very Best Love Song :-D

يا من هواه أعزه وأذلنـــي
كيف السبيل إلى وصالـك دلني؟
Wahai cinta, yang dengannya membuatku hina dan membuatnya mulia
Katakan padaku bagaimana jalanku untuk dapat mendekat kepadamu

تركتني حيران صبّا هائمــا
أرعى النجوم وأنت في نوم هني
kau tinggalkan aku dalam tangis dan kesusahan
Kupandangi bintang-bintang sedangkan kau terlelap dalam tidur yang nyaman

جاد الزمان وأنت ما واصلتني
يا باخلاَ بالوصل أنت قتلتنـي

Berlalulah waktu demi waktu dan engkau tidak menemuiku
Duhai engkau yang pelit menjumpa, sungguh engkau membunuhku dengan cinta ini

ولأقعدن على الطريق فأشتكي
في زي مظلوم وأنت ظلمتنـي

Aku akan berjalan dan berseru di jalan-jalan
Karena aku adalah orang yang terdholimi dan engkau mendholimiku


ولأشكينك عند سلطان الهوى
ليعذبنك مثل ما عذبـتـنــي

dan aku akan mengadukanmu pada Raja pemilik segala cinta
Supaya engkau merasakan adzab seperti yang engkau akibatkan padaku

ولأدعين عليك في جنح الدجى
فعساك تبلى مثل ما أبليتنـي

Dan aku akan berdoa di kegelapan malam
Supaya engkau ditimpa bala’ seperti yang engkau akibatkan padaku

Sebagian syair Ya Man Hawa dengan terjemahan bebas. harap maklum kalau ada kesalahan dan harap diralat :-)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Holiday Sweet Holiday

If any of you ask me "How's life??" I'll simply answer "Great!!" because it truly what i feel about life, mainly starting from January 25 until now. After a nice "Makrab" with HMTK, the holiday starts. And i can't expect a better time for it to come after a tiring first semester running a new life as a college student. It has been a "roller-coaster" semester i think. It started with MOS in Ramadhan which successfully make me ill for 3 days, then with the whole lecturers and assignments, organizational activities (though it's very few for me), and it ended with my sister's marriage and the accident happened just a month before that marriage. Wonderful. I got soooooooooo many things in this new life surely. And most importantly, i love it. My other part of life (i mean other than campus and those stuffs) also run excitingly. Life is never flat; absolutely true. Ah, all in all i once again would like to say: life is excitingly wonderful :D.

Okay, back to the holiday talk. Actually, my holiday started even before mid-January, although it's not officially and fully a holiday. Some subjects were done already , therefore no more need to take the lecture; part-time holiday. Furthermore, in mid-January i went to Bandung for Indonesian Varsities English Debate (IVED) in which i have an early holiday (another interesting yet wonderful experience in this half-year term). Just 2 days at home after IVED, off to Tawangmangu for makrab. Exhausted, yes; but simply enjoyable. Aaaannndddd it's OFFICIALLY holiday :D. It's another nowhere-to-go holiday, but i already get used to it since mostly i spend my holiday this way. What i enjoy most is finally I'm free again. Just in case any of you forgotten, i haven't rode my motorcycle for over a month after that accident. Once i got the chance, i grab it with both hand. But it's not merely wandering around the city aimlessly burning the decreasing fossil fuel without any reason, i did it with purpose. I helped people a lot this holiday, and i badly missed that very much when i'm on my "disable" period. I set up someone's internet connection from choosing the modem until installing the firefox, go to relatives' houses, take my mom anywhere she wants, do what my dad asked, go to uncle's house and take part in his recording process, play games with my cousins there, and many more. simply love it. if only everyday in my life can be spent this way. huahahahahaha..

PS: haven't heard the update, but i'm currently anxious of someone's health condition. Get well soon. be praying for you day and night.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Raaanddddoooommmmm

There are things that can't be remedied; unlike exams. Even if you have to wait for another year, you'll have your chance. But in most cases, you can't simply remedy something: words that you say, steps that you take, and time that you spend. Once taken, no backward, no revision, no undo button and no remedy.

So whenever you say a word or act or do something, THINK logically and carefully about what the consequences going to be. Whether you will make someone upset, angry, disappointed or more. If it is so, you'd better not to do it. Erasing pain is not as easy as curing infections.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Rich and Poor

One day i attend a "pengajian (dunno the term) in the mosque next to my house. I remember the speaker said "Seburuk2 orang miskin adalah orang miskin yang mengetuk pintu untuk meminta. Seburuk2 orang kaya adalah orang kaya yang pintunya perlu diketuk agar keluar hartanya." I can't exactly say that the words come from the Prophet directly (a hadits) or it's one of his followers (shohabat) or the Ulama. but it's certainly coming from one of them. At that time, after listening to the explanation from the speaker i just think "oh, that's right. very true". But now, i found the reason why. In my personal opinion, the point of the words are the mentality of the rich and the poor people regarding to their condition. we'll take a closer look up next.

The idea of this note comes up after watching Metro TV showing hundreds of people bursting into a mosque -somewhere i forgot- shouting, pushing, stepping on each other, breaking the fence; just to get a plastic bag of meat (it won't weigh more than half kilo). What we can see is that there exactly NO character of humanity among people; once again for a plastic bag of meat. When a Hyena find it's prey, they will do exactly the same to what the people out there do.

Another example; still fresh in our mind the tragedy in Pasuruan caused by similar situation in which people rumbled each other to get Rp 25.000. It caused 21 lives. A price tag of "Rp 25.000" were slapped in 21 lives of our brother. Another example of a wild and non-human behavior.

Whose mistake? Poor people because they are poor? Government because they can't distribute the prosperity? Rich people because they are (so-called) sharing their wealth? None of them.

It's pathetic if a poor people living in a poor condition also poor mentally. If it's for an urgent need (operation, accident, giving birth, etc) then they need to have their pride not to ask and beg. Have their willing to solve it by doing anything but to beg for people's generosity and kind heart. They need to be strong and RESPECT THEMSELVES. They need to give a RESPECT for themselves as a HUMAN BEING. Behave as a human, think as a human, have pride as a human, and live as a human. For their own sake. Eating a meet is not a must; buying new clothes for 'Id is not a must; having a cellphone is not a must (reality: beggars DO have cellphones, and they beg). So, what kind of mental deficiency which make people sacrifice their pride and self-esteem just to get those short-term satisfaction and happiness? Life is not easy; i know it. Money is not everything but everything needs money; agreed. Do everything, sacrifice everything even your life to get some money?? Negative. One of my favorite quote taken from a Tasikmadu employee "Kalo sudah lewat kerongkongan, sate dan singkong akan sama rasanya." It can be implied not just for foods. How long will you admire your new dress, shoes, necklace, etc in front of the mirror?? not that long. Dunno to whom i should speak, but this word is aimed towards those who begs and knocking doors for coins for unimportant and not urgent things: Please, respect yourself. For your own sake.

Rich people living in their palaces with their mercedeses and expensive clothes but closing the eye from their surrounding is the worst person stepping on the earth. Let's take an example. Sayyid Ali Zainal Abidin, son of Husin, grandson of Muhammad SAW, every night roams around Medina carrying wheat on HIS OWN shoulder to be given to poor people in the town. Every night without a single house missed. No one knows about it except his storehouse guard. When he died and no more wheat found in front of houses, people then find out that it's Sayyid Ali who did it every night. That's an example for every rich people to do. For the rich people: Open your eye to your surrounding. Have feeling towards people next to you, in front of you and anywhere near your place. You're afraid of getting poor? Sharing your wealth won't make you poor. You are making a trade to the God; the Richest of all. He won't let His companion down. It's very kind of you if you welcome every people who come to your house and need your help. But you're not different to a baby -waiting to be fed. Move on! Share your wealth! And be socially aware.

Graduate? Work? Life?

Yesterday i woke up a little bit late in the morning. My class will start at 8 and i opened my eyes at 7.15. So i don't have too much time preparing both mind and body to go to campus and face PHYSICS at that time. After a quick bath (but still clean and clear. haha) i ran my motorbike while my brain is updating and loading information and data.

The arc of "Universitas Sebelas Maret" hung above my head welcoming everyone passing by with pride. It was a very crowded morning with a lot of motorbikes walking slowly through the security. I wondered "What's on earth? It's unusually this crowded". 50 meters forward i found out the answer; it's GRADUATION time.

Okay, let's skip the crowds and parking lots. My mind is loaded and ready to work. The first thing came up to my mind is about the graduation. Hundreds of people once called "Mahasiswa" is now called "sarjana". Their family came along to the campus; putting on make-ups, wearing torturing skirts called Kebaya completed with a huge and heavy Sanggul, preparing foods, photos, taking their babies and children packed with toys and candies, waiting for hours, just to celebrate that short change of status. Parents are proud with their Graduate-Boy. Their millions of investment will shortly pay back. With a short whip of the ribbon on the hat, 4 years (or more) effort and struggles are finally acknowledged. They're on the doorstep of "a better future". It goes with a pile of dream that will follow.

If the question is "What to do after graduation?" then the answer will be "work, work and work. then get married. hahaha.." is it that simple? Can be yes but mostly no. Later on that day less than 24 hours, i read a newspaper and find an interesting title "Jumlah Pengangguran Bergelar Sarjana Meningkat". The discussion can be brought to how incapable the government to provide job and etc, but that's not the menu for now. 14,3% of graduated undergraduates are still jobless. Albeit their scores and whereabouts or their universities, it's still a stunning figure. And something that burden every mind of a "sarjana"-going-to-be.

My sister is a bachelor of law (Sarjana Hukum). When she graduated her friends came along and take pictures. One of them congratulated my sister and said "Well,you've been through a lot of difficult things in your study to obtain the bachelor degree. But later on you will find that finding a job is a lot more difficult". Quote of the week everyone?

Well, life is a hyper-complicated thing to be talked. But we know something that is called "causal relation". So if you do something, then the result or the outcome will also goes inline with what you do. If we study and graduate from university, then the path to success is up ahead. We do what we have to do; work the work. But one thing is certain, FATE determines everything. My mom (the most philosophical person i ever met) told me "Pray to God, ask for a good fate. Then do what you have to do.". So, no need to be afraid of the threat to be the part of the 14.3%. Let's study, let's go to schools, universities, colleges, etc. Overall, let God do what He does best.

A no-aim Post

Well, i've been extremely busy lately because of my sister's marriage. So i almost have no time to sit for hours and thinking about what to write here in my blog. But nooooowwwww, it's all done and dusted. My sis has moved to her new house with her husband, my room is back to it's usual function (my room is a bedroom-cum-storage), and my house is slowly back to it's normal condition with the quiet morning and everything. I'm in a great mood to post something but my mind is stuck on my sis' marriage and i'm waiting for the pictures to make a writing about it. So, it's enough for now. just to fulfill my thirst :D.

PS: my life theme-song for now: Ghanneeli Shuwayya-Shuwayya by Umm Kaltsum :D